Saturday, March 9, 2013

A Bittersweet Saturday -

I generally look forward to the weekend, even as an old retired Moose. But today is different. My heart and soul sense an emptiness, it is the lack if her presence in this world. My Mother, a woman of quiet strength and faith is no longer here. And while I take solace in knowing she intercedes in prayer for me and my beloved at the feet of her Savior, I am nonetheless "out of sorts"?
I was expecting with delight the arrival of eldest son (and grandson) Kyle this morning, coming for the wedding of two precious friends. Alas, the winter weather has grounded his flight, and sent a wave of sadness through our family here. (May need to Skype later for that heart-lifting "Kyle fix"?)
Cody is off to care for our furry & feathered friends at the zoo, and Patti is off to an all day lab at Sac City, it's me and the animals here, and old Riley (14yr old Lab) is at my feet sensing my sadness and doing his part to comfort.
But, I am also an old Moose of faith, I have walked darkness before, and I have known the Light than shines even in the darkness. And, even when it is dark, I cling to that faith that I will once again sing my praises in that Light. For now, I accept, even embrace, the darkness, (only by Grace mind you), because I know these wilderness trials are the things of great growth in spiritual formation. Christ Jesus was led into the wilderness by the Spirit, so must I go, led by that same Spirit. I will "come forth as gold", tempered by fire, and a better "wounded healer" and anam cara (soul friend) because of it, thanks be to God.
And so, I press on (we all press on) in the knowledge that even now He is making all things new in heaven and earth. I ask only that regardless of my circumstances I might reflect the love, grace and mercy of Christ, and impart to others the HOPE I have come to know in my deepest heart and soul.
Pray for me Mom. For you too have known the darkness well. From birth unto death you have walked the hills and those valleys. You have known heartbreak, and yet also great JOY. Disappointed and struck down, but never abandoned, forsaken but never forsaken, a child without a father and yet with The Father. Thank you Mom, for everything that only now I see so clearly.

"Patrick, we named you thusly after he who knew well trials but also the Savior Whose company I enJOY this day. May His Peace go with you, wherever He may send you. He will guide you through this wilderness and others, and protect you throughout the storms. And He will bring you home rejoicing at the wonders He will show you. He will bring you home rejoicing once again into our doors."

Christ as the Light illumine and guide me in this time and through all darkness. Be a shield about me, in Your Name drive away the evil dweeb and keep him at bay. Christ above and below me, behind and before me, Christ beside me on my left and on my right, this day Lord be within and without me, lowly and meek yet all powerful be in my heart and on my tongue, lowly and meek yet all powerful.
In Your Name; Father, Son & Spirit, I surrender. To You, Three In One, One In Three, Holy Trinity, Relationship at the Center I submit in trust. This day enfold me.

in solitude — at Da Moose's Lodge.

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